I always wonder what it would it be like to have a really "close" family. Most people say that little rivals and disputes here and there are the daily routines of siblings, but sometimes its just boarderline FRUSTRATING! I understand in order to become an interwined family, hard work and effort must be but into it. There comes times that call for compassion, understanding and patience (ALOT OF IT apparently). However there are just moments when you can strangle yourself from the frustration. I just wished i could let things slide and not be bothered by it, but for some reason i can't seem to get rid of the anger that bottles up inside of me. Why is that?!??!?!?!?!

Although i have not read a lot of passages from the bible yet, but i know for a fact that He is so forgiving. I mean He died on the cross for US, even when we don't truely deserve it. I know in comparision to what He's been through, my sibling rivals are the least bit significant. But it's still astonishing to me as to how forgiving God really is. He is truely all mighty! I just wish someday i can learn to be as forgiving as he is.

On another note, yesterday i was watching Opera (which i FINALLY got a chance to). They had Meg Ryan and Lucy Lui on talking about the tramatic experiences when they went to countries that were surounded by devastations. I believe Meg went to India and sought out groups of women that were empowering themselves although they dont' have a lot. Lucy also went to a part of Asia where they experienced a dramatic earthquake that left millions dead and basically nothing left of the land. They had lost everything! It really got me thinking. Am i really being productive in what i do. I mean in terms of how significant what i do is in affecting others. Sometimes i think we take for granted that things we have because its so easy to obtain for us. For example, school seems like a daily task in which we must complete. But in other countries, people have to walk miles just to sit in a tent to learn a little something. Also, we can leave our plates full of food because we are just too full to take another bit. Meanwhile, others have gone on for days without water and food. After watching this, i wonder why i get so attempted in buying those "brand name" clothing or buy so much food to eat until my belly button popped or generally spend money like theres no worries in the world. But in fact, if i had resisted my need to buy that Artizia shirt, a child could go to school for a year. If i bought a cheaper meal and saved a couple dollars, a town would be able to get food, water and shelter. Or if i didnt' watch that movie in the theaters, thousands of people could get better (or some form of) medical treatment. Theres so much we can do with the little changes in our lives. It may seem insignificant to us, but it means the WORLD to them. After watching the show, i've come to ponder if what i do in the future (i.e. become an accountant) can actually help those in need. I say that "if i were well-off, i would go to help people in the 3rd world countries". But the fact is that I am selfish in saying that. Selfish in the sense that i am thinking of myself. You don't have to be rich to help those in need. All that is needed is a giving heart. Truely, i'm awaiting on my calling to see what i can be to make that difference.
It aches to see those in suffering, but hurts more to know that i'm sitting here not doing anything about it!

~Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others ~ 1 Peter 4:10